Rich Kids

A friend commented last night that I should update this thing more often. So, just for this friend, I shall throw in something here. Even though it's Sunday morning and I am in no way sleep deprived. Ah well, here goes.

Yesterday, I was having a conversation with some people about the correct methods of raising a child. One particular person was quite vehement in his condemnation of allowing extravagant spending on the part of the child, no matter the financial situation of the parent. I found this very odd. I personally think that this is a very narrow sort of view, for the definition of extravagance is quite nebulous. Is the son of a billionaire being extravagant if he purchases offhand a diamond watch for a tenth of his monthly allowance? Yes? In that case, what about the son of a far poorer man, who saves his pennies and gathers two months worth of allowance to buy an iPod mini? Both are luxuries, but the rich son spent far less as a proportion of his father's wealth and his own allowance than did the poor son. Why is the willingness to scrimp and save to buy luxuries considered admirable and a sign of character, but the readiness to buy such luxuries if they are comfortably within one's budget considered inappropriate and extravagant?

Perhaps money corrupts in the sense that if the luxuries mentioned above are easily available without sacrifice to the children, then they are not willing or motivated to make any money or forge a career of their own. I doubt the validity of this. I am certain that, statistically, those with rich or well-to-do parents tend to do better in life than those who do not. Why is this? A work ethic that goes beyond a simple willingness to work to avoid poverty and make as much money as possible is embedded in most successful people. It is almost a prerequisite that people must be self-motivated in order to be successful in what they choose as a career. This self-motivation has little to do with money, but rather stems from a desire to be as good as one can be in whatever one does. To find personal satisfaction in being good at something. Money is a secondary consideration that must be yielded to, but is never the overriding concern. It is a common characteristic of successful people that many people who are not do not seem to understand. The factory worker sees the CEO earning many times his own salary, considers that their hours are fairly similar, and so moans about the unfairness of it all. What they cannot see is that the CEO probably works every waking hour, even at home or leisure, letting the problems and issues at hand roil in his mind constantly. Why does he do this? Why does he not simply forget all about work once he steps out of the office? Because he wants to be successful. Not simply in the sense of wanting pay raises and stock options, but simply because it is a satisfying thing to be the boss of a successful company.

Hardship shapes character? Yeah, sure it does. But is character necessarily shaped by hardship? If one does not experience hardship, is it then impossible to have character in the common sense that it is used? Is a person brought up in a privileged and sheltered environment unable to work hard and fight when necessary? That is a remarkably skewed and prejudiced view. Look at the two richest people in the world, Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, neither of whom inherited much from their parents to contribute to their current fortunes, but were raised in fairly well-to-do environments. Both were country club types who likely have never had to scrape for a cent in their lives. But both are workaholics who do not spend a great deal of their fortune, but remain focused on their work to the point of fanaticism. Gates in particular fought and struggled to make Microsoft the dominant player in the software and operating systems markets in the face of unpleasant odds. Character? I think he qualifies.

If nothing else, money and power provide a unique opportunity for a parent to give a child an education in the ways of power and money. Learning early how things work at the higher echelons of this capitalist society in which we live can prove to be invaluable. A child of a rich, successful person will have the resources, not purely in monetary terms, to succeed far more than the child of a poor man. Value systems are shaped by the personality and parenting style of the parent, not the money. Life skills are taught by all parents, the question is what particular life skills these are. Are they a strong work ethic and understanding of how the rich and successful operate, or a distrust of money and trust in the working classes? Every person endeavours to be rich. No one can honestly say that he or she would be happier with less instead of more. Fabulous wealth can, in itself, change the view of the world of the possessor, but it is not necessarily for the worse. It is only when the parent has no interest in imparting his or her own views of the world and the work ethic and methods that brought the wealth in the first place that the change is for the worse.

While I'm ranting, I might as well riff on the common idea that wealth and happiness exist in an inverse relationship. Quite ridiculous. Many many people have said to me, 'would you prefer being poor and happy, or rich and lonely?' What a ridiculous question. I do not see any nexessary correlation. Happiness in what sense? Family? Friends? Why can you not have these if you are rich? The usual argument is that if you are rich and successful, you never know if those who become close to you are interested in you or solely in your money. Well, I think that's simply a problem on your own part of judgement of character. If you are unable to discern if your wife loves you or your money, then too bad for you. In any case, does it matter? So long as you think that those you love reciprocate your feelings, it hardly matters if that is the truth. If you have no idea that your wife has no feelings for you other than for your money, then what does it matter to you? As far as you're concerned, all is right with the world. What you don't know can't hurt you. Fair-weather friends? Those exist everywhere. Say you're a poor man. Your friends obviously are not after your money, but they may be after your personality. If you become a hopeless drug addict who steals to support your habit, steals from them, or gets sent to jail frequently, or something like that, how many of your friends will stick by you? Few indeed. Money and success in a career are as much a part of you as your personality. To place a value judgement on those who value success over personality is presumptuous and arrogant.

Which brings me to value judgements. I am a person of many prejudices and biases. I certainly try to convince others of my view whenever there is an opportunity, but I do not expect everyone to agree, and I do not condemn those who disagree with me. Unlike many so-called open-minded people who expect you to agree with them, and be damned if you don't. Everybody has a unique view of the world, and I respect that. Can you respect mine? My worldview includes people who disagree with me, people who think that Chinese are slitty-eyed job-stealers, that fat people are evil, and that those who readily spend what their parents give them are extravagant and spendthrift. Do those people who believe in gay marriage, solving the problems of world hunger and redistributing wealth to the poor in society include in their worldview people like me? Some do, many do not. Learn to respect others if you expect others to respect you.