Ok, so I'm awake at a horrendous hour again, so here we go again.

I was gonna rant about turning off the brain, but a friend of mine brought up something interesting. She said, or actually typed, a quote from somebody going along these lines:
"I'm running out of time to become the person I always thought I would become."

Now, this sounds scary to many people, especially as they become older. Time is running out, and things aren't working out as they imagined. I can only imagine that it is a terrible feeling to be unfulfilled and dissatisfied on one's deathbed. Certainly depressing.

Setting aside the issue of ambition in life, which I rambled a bit on last time, the question arises of whether a schism between fantasy and reality is all that bad. I think the really scary thing in life is not to fail in reaching for the sky, but in actually reaching it. People are constantly striving for something in life, whether it be money, family, career, whatever. The point is that there is something to aspire towards. From a certain viewpoint, mine at least, that can be the only reason to prolong one's existence, in anticipation of something. The possibility that there is something better ahead is the sole motivation to move ahead in life. After all, if life has reached a peak, and everything's downhill from there on out, one might as well commit suicide at that perfect moment.

It just occurred to me that I read a short story about something like this in a Dragonlance Tales collection somewhere. A knight was offered the chance to choose a moment in life which he would be allowed to relive forever. He kept deferring the offer, in anticipation of vanquishing some greater foe, until he was at last defeated and his eternity of glory was lost to him. Some may call him silly, but he is certainly a sympathetic fellow. How can one possibly accept that the pinnacle of one's life has been reached without succumbing to despair? To achieve all that is possible and to accept the truth of that is utter defeatism.

The existence of a divide between what is fantasised and what is real is necessary to stave off complete despair. There should always be unfulfilled dreams for one to cling to as a reference for the future, otherwise the future will hold no appeal. The zenith of one's life should never be reached, for there is only downhill to go from there.