Arbitrary, Moody, Unreasonable

What are the ways I can parse these?

Alphabetical.

Rhythm of the ending consonant.

Separating common meanings to different ends.

Descending pitch to roll off the tongue pleasingly.

Least syllables in the middle.

Beginning vowels at the ends.

People don't understand. The above are the considerations I ran through in the two or three seconds of the breath I drew in as I composed the description. Layer as I might, people don't catch it. I find it intolerable at times. It seems that what I think of as perfectly logical completely fails to register as the same with others. Why do I detest people so much? Largely because so little thought goes into their interaction with me, in particular. I have never found someone who builds and reads conversation on a similar wavelength to me. Each conversation I do have with people is always a mere tiny portion of what strains at my tongue. Nothing I say has its intended effect, or is heard and understood as I mean it, so I so frequently cannot bring myself to bother. And when I grind things down to what is understandable, so little is left of the original intent that it might as well be someone else speaking. As it is. I push against the insides of me, but all that accomplishes is jabbing others. So I reach instead to push at the insides of my skull. At least in that realm, I avoid letting my shadows invade others. Safe. Schizophrenic? I suppose I'll learn that eventually. Maybe I am simply being arrogant. Hubris is a known flaw of humanity, after all. Perhaps it is not that others do not hear everything that is going on when I speak, but that nobody cares to hear it. That is a distinct possibility. After all, what am I but a person who feels no obligation to be nice to others. I am a nice guy, I think. I just don't find that a compulsion exists to be nice to people whom I do not want to be nice to. I do not care what others think of me, beyond that it is not strong enough to incite violence against my physical person, and so I see no reason for anyone to care what I think of them, beyond a reassurance that I will not in the foreseeable future pick up a sledgehammer and pound their skulls in. I lost all faith in the reliability of friendship a long time ago, yet still manage to lose a little more with each passing day. Independence is so underrated. When everything slides off your person with all the ease of barbed wire on bare skin, the only thing you lose is blood.

And that is what I wanted to say, but ground down to an observation of behaviour.