Liar

I like movies. A great deal. I watch a fair number of them, and thoroughly enjoy the experience and the medium. I must also admit to being a bit of a soft spot for romantic movies. They seem to represent an ideal, of relationships, of serendipity, of people, that I can never realistically aspire to. Ok, action movies do that as well, but romances usually involve people doing things that the average joe could do, if joe could overcome his own resistance to the complete vulnerability that accompanies making a commitment as massive as seen in some movies.

So in the spirit of Valentine's Day, or its one month anniversary rather, I here present the two most wildly and insanely romantic movies I have ever seen. I offer a warning here that these most likely do not top most other lists like this, nor are they even particularly well-known films. They will never be studied in film classes, and in a few years, few indeed will remember them, beyond bored video store clerks browsing the dustiest shelves. They star actors with reputations, at least at the time, for inane and ridiculous performances in screwball slapstick comedies of the lowest grade. At least one does not pretend to be anything but a screwball slapstick comedy. The other has some vestiges of those roots, despite the clear attempt at a more serious portrayal by the actors involved. These movies are 50 First Dates, and Bubbly Boy.

50 First Dates is a movie about a woman, Drew Barrymore, who has an interesting form of amnesia, where she wakes up each day forgetting about the one that had gone before. In essence, she wakes up thinking that it is the same day every day. Her family tries to maintain this charade, constructing a world where she can relive the same day over and over forever. One day, Adam Sandler sees her and chats her up. Eventually he learns of her condition, but decides to try and help her come to grips with the situation. Of course, she forgets about this the next day. But he simply repeats his efforts, perfecting his daily approach. As he falls deeper in love with her, he resolves to make her fall in love with him afresh every day. Every day he greets her in the morning, explains the situation, then takes her on a new first date. Every date is the first, every conversation is the first, every kiss is the first. He marries her, and proceeds to spend the rest of his life courting her and making her fall in love with him again, every single day.

Now tell me that isn't the most bloody romantic thing, and I'll ask what's wrong with you.

Bubble Boy is a kind of adaptation of the Graduate. A boy without a working immune system grows up in a plastic bubble to keep the germs out. The girl living next door visits him often, flirts with him on occasion, then ups and leaves one day to get married. Our hero, Jake Gyllenhaal, broods a little bit, then decides to go after her and tell her of his love for her. So he constructs a little bubble for himself and sets off on a cross-country trip. After various ridiculous adventures, he finds her, opens his bubble, kisses her, and drops dead from infection. As movies go, of course, it turns out he has resistance, and doesn't die. But the point is that as far as he knew, to take that action, to kiss the girl he loves, would be his death. And he did it. No hesitation. So what we have here is a person who has never in his life been outside of his room, walking into the unknown, prepared to travel thousands of miles on foot if necessary, to kiss his love, knowing that it will certainly kill him.

Come on, what kind of cold-hearted beast are you? Just because it's a really stupid comedy doesn't make it any less romantic. And just because renting it probably won't score you any points with your girlfriend doesn't make it any less valuable. Alright, that does make it less valuable.

These aren't great movies by any means. Nothing stand out about them in terms of their creation. No great acting performances here. No brilliant script. I don't even know who the directors are. That doesn't detract from how awe-inspiring the kind of romance in those movies is. It's the kind that warms your heart, then makes you feel completely inferior, a useless and pathetic human being, for you know that you could never do the same. Could you calmly and unhesitatingly step forward into death for a girl who you do not even know loves you or not? Or decide to spend every single day being in love with a woman who wakes up definitely not in love with you? If you can, then you are a far better emotional being than I am. I also think that you are a liar.