Lessons from the weekend

Number one, don't overestimate things or people. Some things are just not as significant as you might imagine they are. When you're caught in the fetish, so to speak, you cannot see the larger picture, and that which you focus on seems larger than it actually is. When you finally decide to just give up and step back, it loses so much of its lustre. Especially when you overestimate its importance in relation to other things. When you're caught up in it, you dismiss the exhortations of others that it is "just" whatever. You even ignore yourself. That little voice in your head isn't insanity, it is reason. Reason, unfortunately, gets underestimated more often than it is overestimated. Throwing up your hands and walking away, shaking your head, brings a clarity to the situation. All this is, and must be, beneath you. Things have to be much more than they are to justify so much thought and effort. Upon releasing it, it seems so small and insignificant as it floats away. There isn't even the slightest hint of the need to watch it depart, for there are other more pleasant, or perhaps more important things to consider.

Number two, this space on the world wide web has been taken much too seriously by some parties. This has, and always will be for as long as it exists, a repository for excess thoughts. They may not make sense, they may not reflect my true stance on any matter, or on the other hand, they might. In any case, whatever appears here is merely an image of what is leaking from my mind at any given moment. I think many things, and few of them have the wherewithal to survive the scrutiny of my mind. Also, if you do not wish to see this snapshot of my mind, do not return to this infinitesimally small corner of the Web. There are many other places to go for your pointless, voyeuristic amusement. I suggest blur studios and the international herald tribune.

Number three, Bartlett sushi is severely overpriced. Went out to a decent sushi spot last night, found that the maki rolls were the same price as in Bartlett. I am glad I have not returned to Bartlett this academic year. Seriously, Hyde Park needs better food. I am severely jealous of Northwestern University people who not only have a nicer view, they have better restaurants. I went to Trio recently, and it was seriously pretty fantastic.

Number four, my apathy and lack of enthusiasm for anything have reached new depths. I broke a date this weekend simply because I couldn't find the energy to go out and do my thing. Perhaps I am out of practice, and the sudden exercise of the old techniques has wearied me mentally. In any case, I simply could not muster the strength to change, go out, converse intelligently and engagingly for a few hours, take a carefully thought out walk, and so on and so forth. I cannot even bring myself to exert the usual control over my language. Maybe this same exhaustion has cost me something. Then, I simply could not handle another evening of cautious probing and pretending to be friendly. I just wanted to see someone who would actually be glad to see me. I really don't see why that's at all difficult to understand. Not much of a choice, really. I couldn't handle more of the ridiculous situation, and went with another situation where I was comfortable, and I was welcome. I do not have unlimited patience, and can only bear with so much before turning away. I'm tired of it, and so is everyone else, I imagine. I just don't really give a damn anymore. I can't even leave things on a cordial note. It's just so ridiculous. Nobody understands anybody. I don't claim to understand it. It's just a mess that I don't want to add to anymore, and nobody will let be cleaned up. Ah, whatever, I don't care anymore. I just don't, and I feel so much better for it. It's none of my business, and while my mind reflexively runs over the trained responses, none of them really resonate anymore. I was going to insert a 'Bloody hell.' here, but I wouldn't mean it. No venom can be drawn to spit out.

Number five, if you ever go to the White Castle near Chinatown, do not get out of your car. Not only are there no seats in the place, the area is really pretty damn ghetto. I cannot believe I walked past it on my own at 2 am, and didn't get mugged. Thank heaven for small, or possibly large, miracles. Besides, I suspect the hygiene levels of the restaurant aren't all that high. Don't ask about the evidence.

Number six, My HiME rocks. One of the best I've watched in a while. Almost as good as Naruto, definitely better than Full Metal Panic. Not even licensed yet. Go download and watch it.